Sadly, modesty is a lost art. I say art because when people use the word "modest" or "modesty" it is usually with rolled eyes...believing that this word defines: frumpy sweats or always wearing long dresses (although I would LIVE in dresses forever...I love them) and baggy clothing. It is not. It is being feminine (not sleezy), neat and tidy (not sloppy and made up with an inch of make up), beautiful and sweet (not seductive and provocative). Or...because we desire the label "modesty", it does sound good (especially to the Christian woman), we define the term according to our standards. There are a LOT of very immodest "modest" women and young ladies walking around in our culture. I used to be one of them, so I know exactly what I am talking about!
I have heard so many times "we can't control the boys looking at us" BUT we can sure do our part NOT to be a stumbling block. Protect those boys, protect their women, protect ourselves and save our goodies for the MAIN SQUEEZE (our hubby)!! Like I said...Modesty is an art.
I love clothes and fashion, hair and makeup just as much as the next lady, BUT I do believe that as a woman, it is our responsibility to be wise and modest. For our husband, for ourselves, for men, for men's wives, for our daughters and because God REQUIRES it.
Here is a little clip from: ~Stacy McDonald (Raising Maidens of Virtue) 'You know the old saying "birds of a feather flock together?" Well, it's true! We are surrounded by a culture that glorifies self, vulgarity, sloppiness, and perversion. Though we are surrounded by this culture, we don't have to be immersed in it. We are not "of the same feather," so we shouldn't look as though we "flock together." At the very least, we can certainly make sure we have enough feathers to cover ourselves.'
As usual, I am always learning from Gabrielle, when she became a young lady, I realized that , although I felt I was a modest woman, I wore things that I would not allow my daughter to wear. She is the most modest young woman I know and by modest, I mean by definition of purity!! I had to question my motive behind my clothing and also question what others would see when they saw me...the inside and the outside. So... once again from Gabby's blog: Passion for Purity
I just wanted to put out there that this is NOT just for girls, young men that would like to read this are encouraged to! I refer to young women because I am one ;)
I want to ask you, what is the difference between Virginity and Purity?
Virginity: The condition of being untouched.
Purity: The condition of being pure; freedom from anything that debases, contaminates, pollutes, ect.
You see, Virginity refers to the body, while Purity refers to the heart.
My mom always refers to Proverbs 31:12 when we are discussing this.
"She does him good and not harm ALL the days of her life."
Here is a short version of her Testimony:
"My mom taught me about abstinence. She and my stepdad presented me with a promise ring and I learned about what it meant to protect my body until my wedding day. I wasn't allowed to date, although, I went on many dates and a few boys were allowed to call...and I went to quite a few proms. I enjoyed boys. ;)
I did not really experience any guilt when I flirted or was the recipient of affection. I kissed and held hands with a clear conscience because I never let it "cross the line."
My wedding night was a beautiful thing. I wore white walkingdown the aisle with pride. I had saved my body for my husband.
I simply had not saved my heart.
I gave pieces of that away with every kiss...every time I held a hand, every sweet nothing whispered in my ear had left a mark. An imprint on my heart.
It gave me a measuring stick with which to compare my husband.
It was a long road back to God's measuring stick...the bible.
ALL THE DAYS OF HER LIFE.
I had not done Phil good all the days of my life."
In this day and age virginity is keeping the "body" pure... Did you see the quote on quote "body"? I put that there because we are not even keeping the body pure, we are just keeping SOME of the body pure.
Young women, in bible times, wore veils to cover their faces... They wore veils to protect future husbands (not even just THEIR OWN future husbands) from lusting after them. They were not only protecting themselves...they were protecting others.
Girls, what are we wearing? Don't stop there, what are your motives behind what you wear? What are you encouraging? Are your protecting not only your body (saving it ALL for your future husband) but protecting someone else's future husband from lusting after someone other than their future wife?
Boys...this is for you as well.
Where are your eyes? What are your thoughts?
Are we repenting for our lust.
Yes, let's call it what it is.
"But I say to you that anyone who looks on a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery in his heart." Matt. 5:28
"But put to death, therefore, what is earthly in you, sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness which is idolatry." Col. 3:5
"So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace. Along with those who call on the name of the Lord with a pure heart." 2 Tim. 2:22
The culture knows that we are a lustful, worldly generation. There are no lines outside of God's word. Anything goes. We see it on TV, Billboards, Music, Books, and the way everyone dresses. They lure us in, grey our boundaries and if we are not rooted in God's word as absolute truth, then we are fools. Easy prey and open targets.
Our hearts...our purity, GONE.
I saw one young friend post "I am a belieBER" referring to Justin Beiber (a lovely photo to go with it) and thought, this is it. The line is crossed. We have been so desensitized that we can drool and lust after a guy like this and it's OKAY. Everyone is doing it!!
That is just one example...boys, I won't even go into who is out there for you all to lust after. You all get my point.
I am so glad that my parents made an effort to build a foundation based upon God's word! At the age of nine, I made the decision to save my body, my first kiss, and my first date for my future husband. I have taken Proverbs 31:12 to heart and am trying to do my husband good ALL the days of my life.
I bet you are wondering why I said my first date. I chose not to date because of what temptations come with dating. One motto I love using is "If you want to stay away from something, stay away from it altogether." So I will be saving every SINGLE thing that is meant for marriage, for marriage. Some may think I am crazy, because everyone needs to find their spouse. But I trust that God has already picked out the perfect spouse, in which He can do His will in my life. And I also trust that He will let me know who He has planned for my life.
This does not mean that I am ignorant to the fact that we need to know who we marry. I realize that I will be spending the rest of life with my future husband, but I believe that when God has revealed His will in a spouse, that myself, along with my family will pray and get to know this man TOGETHER!
"Courting"...but that is a whole separate blog post!!
"Dating with no intent to marry is like going to the grocery store with no money. You either leave unhappy or take something that isn't yours."
I want to tell you that it is never to early or to late to make the decision to stay pure. The bible says:
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away: behold, the new has come." -2 Corinthians 5:17
If you are wanting a clean slate...if this decision is coming later rather than sooner,
You must repent...and if you don't feel the need to repent, PRAY. Ask God to grant you repentance.
"Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth." 2 Timothy 2:25
I am not saying that my way is the right way...I am saying that you need to seek God in His word, He draws a very clear line when it comes to purity.
When God brings you to a place of a heart longing after purity...shout it from the mountain tops!!
Because what I have just done in this posting is to open myself up to a world of accountability.
We are in this together.
A couple book references: I kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris (Brother to Do Hard Things authors) Before I Meet Prince Charming by Sarah Malley Princess and the Kiss Squire and the Scroll And I am now reading Growing Up Duggar and it is all about relationships God bless your journey, Rossie and Gabrielle Gypsies for Jesus You can visit Gabrielle's blog: The Life of A Teenage Unschooler and our family blog at: Treasured Heirlooms
I have been the wife to Philip for the last 14 years and together we have Gabrielle 13, Abraham 11, Ezra 9, Isabelle 7, Sophie 4, Canaan 2 and Baby, Joelle-Marie Grace born March 15th. I am a homeschooling mama and because of my hardworking man, I am able to stay-at-home full time...that doesn't mean I don't have a few hobbies, though!! I am a daughter to the King of Kings and loving the life He has blessed us with!! Enjoy reading about our Treasured Heirlooms, you will see it is a place of peaceful chaos!!