The c-section went smoothly.
Well, aside from the few not so proper comments I made...something like, "Wow, I always wondered what it would feel like to completely throw modesty out the window! (There is something about laying on a table without a stitch of clothing with 20-25 different men and women looking at you.) and, "The more the merrier!"
Looking back, I am a little mortified!
The doctor delivered Canaan still encased in his amniotic sac and gently peeled it apart. The anesthesiologist leaned down and whispered that "Your baby will be called royalty."
Later we learned that this isn't done very often and in some other country, they are really considered royalty. My mom got to watch the whole thing.
When they got to Canaan, I heard him cry and all was well for a moment. It was 6:33pm, February 10th, 2010. Then they whisked him away and I didn't get to see him until midnight.
It was so scary to see him like that. My heart broke for that little one lying there looking so helpless and I felt helpless to do anything.
I continued to pray..."Lord help my reaction to your plan glorify you."
I have a wonderful, dear, fabulous friend whom kept coming to my mind in those first few days. I had to watch this friend suffer the loss of a little one and was there as she said her last goodbye. Even now, quite a few years later, I can't put into words how grateful I was to have such a godly wife, woman and mother as my friend. God reminded me of her reaction to the most devastating thing that could possibly happen to a mama. She grieved...I saw that, but she did it with such grace, with the complete belief that God was in control.
Ugh...I can't even see my computer screen...I need a tissue.
I didn't ask you if I could write this, but you know who you are...so I just want to say:
Thankyou for your strength, your devotion to God even in the most trying times. You are amazing and when I stood there looking at Canaan for the first time, my faith wavered for a moment and I had wished I were you. You were the example God gave me of how I was to respond. How I was to glorify God no matter what. What I have gone through was nothing in comparison to the trial you went through and I just want you to know you are the strongest woman I know. I admire and am inspired by you. Thank God he brought you into my life! I love you.
My Doctor came in my room a short time later and told us many things...First he said that things like this build his faith and that God was smiling down on Canaan. (Isn't that a beautiful picture...God smiles down on His children!) He said that Canaan was a true miracle...and should not be here. He told us that the test my other dr. decided to run wasn't just a hunch, it was God looking out for us. My symptoms had nothing to do with the test. Had my placenta abrupted, I would have been at risk, but there was only a slight tear that allowed Canaan's blood to enter my body. Had that not happened, even that random, rarely-done blood test would have detected nothing was wrong.
He said, had this series of events not occurred, Canaan would have "silently slipped away" within a matter of hours. "Canaan should not be here."
HE IS A MIRACLE OF GOD!