Why can't I be a lovely meek and humble woman?
I know what it takes, I know the scripture that calls me to live this way and yet...I continue to think much too highly of myself.
Wanna know what I mean?
In the hospital, I couldn't wait to come home and carry on as usual. I have always been one of those people who feels like they can do it all. Bring it on...there was really nothing I felt that I couldn't do. No task to great, no project too large. I could juggle my life with the best of them. Or so I thought...I am now realizing that God was humoring me for a time. Letting me think that I was what I thought.
I continue to learn the cold hard truth. I am not that great. Really, I am really nothing. Why can't I learn this the first hundred million times God has gently tried to tell me?!?!?!
So... I planned my cooking day.
I planned it to have help cooking and help with the kiddos. I planned to make about 25 meals with an additional of about 7 meals for each of my sisters. Approximately 39 meals total.
I even planned to plan ahead starting 2 chickens in the roaster the night before!
Did it go as planned?
I ended up by myself most of the day...no one's fault but my own...I should have checked the calendar before I planned this day.
I had about 92 meltdowns.
I got laryngitis from yelling at my kids. I looked like a zombie, my children looked like zoo animals and my home looked like a war zone.
Okay, so you know I am exaggerating a little, but really, I wanted to give up. My only motivation was that I purchased all those groceries, and didn't want them to go to waste.
I reached my limit. A God given limit that I continue to refuse to acknowledge.
I am one of the worst receivers ever because I refuse to believe that I have limits...I know, I am an ugly yucky person!!
the day I came home from the hospital, a couple friends here offered to clean my house so it would be nice when I arrived. I actually argued with them and nearly begged them not to, but they talked me into it and thankfully I came home to a clean house because they had enough wisdom to know that I have limits ( I have to add that my dear sister Katy helped clean as well).
It was the first time EVER that I have had anyone clean my house!! But it was wonderful.
I am learning again...I need God, and I need those dear people He has placed in my life because He knows I have limits.
I want to let any other rebel perfectionist, prideful, do-it-all women (Humor me friends...it makes me feel better to think that I am not the only one.) that it is okay to need help, it is okay to have help, and it is okay to ask for it...and be willing to offer it when others have reached their limits.
We all have limits.
I believe my life will be so much more peaceful when I finally get this through my thick skull!!
I did end up getting my meals done...here is the list of what is in the freezer:
Spaghetti and Meatballs
Teriaki (sp?) Beef
16 Pizza Burgers*
Chicken Noodle Soup
Crescent Chicken Bake
Pulled Pork (2)
Chicken Pot Pie
BBQ Pulled Pork
Parsley and Parmesan Chicken*
The items with * are the ones sent home with my sisters. If you would like a recipe, let me know. I would be happy to
On another note...Phily got me a wonderful present. Can you guess what it is? A little hint: I started racing stock cars to be with him more, and we have found something else we will enjoy doing together!