"A man's heart plans his way but the Lord directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9


Saturday, February 27, 2010

Canaan's Story (Part Two)

I would like to dedicate chapter two of Canaan's Story to my man!
My hunk a burnin' love:

This is where I would have to strongly disagree with the argument that submission is bondage for the wife. That a woman should be "equal" to her husband and we should be able to be strong individual women able to stand alone should we someday not have our husbands.
This theory completely misses the point and takes the word submission out of context. It is not becoming a slave, but rather taking on the robe of a servant's heart. It is not about being able to bring home an income...you can have a fabulous job and even be the sole bread winner for your family and still practice true submission. Let your man be a man. Let him be your hero. Support his decisions even when you believe things should be different. Pray for him if you believe he is making a mistake. You can still voice your concerns, but pray about them first and if you still feel let to say something...say it with a meek and quiet spirit.
Two women:
There was a woman whom was not content in her own home, her needs were not being met and she needed change. So, she nagged, argued and spoke condescendingly toward her husband. In turn her husband either
1: Slowly looses confidence, cowers to his wife and she gets her way.
2: Slowly looses respect for his wife, can't stands her and she gets her way just as long as he can work extra hours so as not to have to listen to her.
There was a wife whom CHOSE to be content, CHOSE to show her husband respect, CHOSE to allow him to make decisions even when they seemed to be the wrong ones, CHOSE to have a servant's heart, CHOSE to make him her hero.
This woman also remembers that:
Even though her husband isn't very good at comforting, she serves the Master Comforter.
Even though her husband isn't always able to provide her wants, she serves a God that promises to meet all her needs.
Even though her husband may make her cry now and then, she is daughter to a Father that collects all her tears.
Even though her husband doesn't always know what to say when she is ill, she serves the Ultimate Physician (thanks Raquel for that reminder) and...
Even though her husband doesn't pick up all his dirty socks, dishes and messes, she serves a God that holds the keys to her heavenly inheritance!
What freedom a man feels when he is released from all these burdens!
In turn he:
Wears the pants and takes pride in his family. The woman his wife is becoming is someone he loves to please. When the guys are talking about their nagging wives, he has nothing to say. He would give anything to protect her and cherishes her as a woman, wife and mother. She is valuable to him. *Yes in Canaan's Story I am going to use an example of Phil and I, but this is an area I still struggle in. God used Canaan's birth to show me that when I do CHOOSE to be obedient to God towards my husband, great is the reward. I by no means have accomplished this in my everyday life and it has been a slow journey...I have been the first woman, but by the grace of God am striving to be the second woman.
We got back from a trip to California in November and since I had been home, I had a lingering sense of urgency. Not really sure what for, but I felt God was preparing me for something.
Right after Christmas, that urgency surfaced and I felt I needed to begin preparing for the baby. Not just the little things, I mean sewing clothes, diaper bag, cooking freezer meals, purchasing all the things we needed such as car seat, bed, diapers, clothes etc. (I did mention that after Sophie, Phil once again said we were done and to get rid of everything! I was being a good submissive wife and DID get rid of EVERYTHING...there are sometimes consequences to our hubby's decisions ;) )
This is where Phil comes in. He did not once question me on why I was feeling this way so early. Nor did he ever get annoyed or angry when I was telling him over and over, "I think we just need to get all this done. I am so nervous something is going to happen." He opened his pocket book, tight as it was and asked me where we need to start. He took me on numerous trips into town to shop. He bought me a bigger vehicle that was 4 wheel drive just in case something did happen and I needed to get out in the snow.
The day I told him I thought something wasn't right, he didn't laugh when I told him about my braxton hicks contractions (even though I had them for all my children rather early) and didn't roll his eyes when I told him I thought the baby was kicking too much. He just simply said, "Let's go to the doctor."
I did warn you that I am a work in progress, so I declined his offer to drive and drove myself. There are consequences to being a stubborn woman, and in this case it was being alone in a hospital room, being airlifted alone to a hospital further away and humbling beyond belief!
So you see, in my LONG journey to becoming a submissive wife, I am not becoming a doormat. Rather I am blessed to be loved by such a wonderful man. One whom takes care of me, loves me in spite of myself and inspires me to be a better woman.
I love you Phil, and I am so happy God gave me you to walk this road with. Thank you for being so patient with me and for noticing the small steps I am taking to become the Godly wife you deserve.
Thankyou Holy Spirit for speaking to my heart and prompting me to prepare and for giving Phil and I the wisdom to go in to be seen by the doctor.


Too Many Kids In The Bathtub said...

Oh Rossie! What a gift to read! You really GET IT don't you! And what an amazing husband you have! Your submission has made your good man, and GREAT man! We should all strive to be that 2nd woman! But it is truly only in our dependence on the Lord that we can take the journey of being a submissive wife! I honestly just LOVE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rebecca Lynn said...

love your example of the two women! Very good.....and I would have done the same stubborn thing with the offer to drive to the hospital. We think we are helping by not wanting to put them out, and they WANT to help!!!!

Tiara said...

That was a great example of the two women, thank you! I struggle here also. I am striving to be a help meet!

Shannon said...

I think you answered my question from Part 1 (sheepish grin)... Great comparison between the two women. I am trying hard to be the 2nd one, but I am awful at it. My example was my mother who was definitely a #1 woman... she always go her way, but never saw the damage it did. I saw the damage, but when you are raised with one example that is all you know. Even if you know it is wrong you do not know a better way sometimes. So... I am working on it.

Obviously, you have earned your husband's trust.

18 months ago my husband also said to get rid of everything. He also signed up for a vasectomy! When the papers came in the mail I was supposed to sign them, but I just could not do it.... and yes, I got the submission speech, but my heart was too heavy over it. My husband respected that and he trusted that I had a reason that he might not truly "get" at that point. I just did not want to have regrets after a few years passed. Guess what? Around the time the baby turned one he started getting that twinkle in his eye! HE wants more... not I, really.... I am frightened, but love my kids... He told me a few days ago that 8 or 9 would be okay with him! This from a man that wanted a vasectomy! I am saying this because this is an example of when I acted rational and did not tell my husband this is the way it is going to be and he was not having a vasectomy. Instead I handled it gracefully and told him that he could have it... he could even forge my signature, but I just could not be the one to sign it. I told him it was HIS choice and I would support it even though I did not want him to do it. And see what happened.... amazing. I just wish I could handle every issue so gracefully. ;) On another note... look where it has gotten me, though!! LOL!! He wants not just one more, but several more!!! OH MY GOSH!!! Amazingly, I am fully aware that it is him turning to God's ways and not his own ways. He is seeing the joys of God's ways!


Thank you thank you thank you LORD for Rossie and Phil, for your wonderful guidance, for your clear instructions regarding marriage and submission, and for giving us the HONOR of submitting to our husbands and in turn receiving the rcihest of rich blessings within our homes...peace, love, respected, happy men, with whom we can raise our families.

I love you Rossie and am thankful for your clarity and commitment to sharing God's prupose.

No question that first woman has surfaced in me from time to time only to meet the sad sad consequences. I am thankful that I now ENJOY being the second woman (most of the time) and that I have a wonderful man, like Phil, who leads our family!!

an encourager said...

hi. this week i have had to counsel two women in that very thing. your wording, though, was sweet and palatable and encouraging. would you mind if i put some of it in a newsletter i send out to friends for encouragement (with your blog
site listed, of course)? please let me know @ encouragingforyou@gmail.com. thanks liz


Ditto that! Can I use it for our newsletter at MOPS too?

Anonymous said...

I hope that your husband is much more loving, respectable, kind, happy, and enjoyable than you tend to make him seem whenever you write about him.